A father's influence-

While doing some reading for my marriage class, I ran across this quote, which really touched me. 

One authority states: “Studies show that fathers have a special role to play in building a child’s self-respect. They are important, too, in ways we really don’t understand, in developing internal limits and controls in children.” He continues, “Research also shows that fathers are critical in establishment of gender in children. Interestingly, fatherly involvement produces stronger sexual identity and character in both boys and girls. It is well established that the masculinity of sons and the femininity of daughters are each greater when fathers are active in family life.” (Karl Zinsmeister, “Do Children Need Fathers?” Crisis, Oct. 1992.)

I strongly believe that fathers can change lives. You don't have to be a biological father, but others can be fathers, and influence as well. I know that my mission president, Walter Plumb, changed my life for the good, I am who I am today, because of what he said to me, and how he treated me. 

If he.... then I will...

If we continue to do the equation 

If... + then..=if.../then...

I believe to find a different out come we must change the equation. 

I feel that if we choose to stay with the if, then equation, we, or anyone else following this path, will end in divorce. I just watched this video. It made me cry, as I thought about my own personal troubles, and how my equation has got to change.

http://www.byui.edu/videoplayer/BYUIplayer.html?StartCue=50%26EndCue=601%26VideoName=CurrDev_07%26VideoType=lectures

I chose this image to represent what my blog will focus on. The "if-then" factor in marriage. This blog is not going to be an "aw so sweet"  blog about the blissfulness of marriage. It will talk about hard and true facts about marriage and the factors that can make or brake a marriage.  I will start off saying sorry to all of you newly weds, that are blissfully happy right now.  Because, if you are not blissfully happy right now, there is a big issue, because it is only going to get harder, and if you start off with big issues, watch out they will only get harder and worse. 

I love being married (most of the time). I absolutely LOVE my husband and want to desperately to stay with him.

Abraham Lincoln said, 

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

 http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_marriage.html#UGWClApbY1xTeSML.99

I loved this quote because it explains how it is up to us which way our marriages will turn out. This life is a time to prepare to meet God (and to make up our own decision at to where we eventually want to return to, Heaven or Hell.

Alma stated in chapter 34- 32 For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.

 33 And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.

 34 Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.

I know that I chose to marry my husband Mike. I felt and knew that it was the right thing to do, and now it is up to me to stop the 'if, then" games and make a choice for myself and for my family, if I will follow the lessons from Alma, and repent, and not procrastinate, or to procrastinate and possibly lose everything that I dreamed of, because of pride.

Saving Your Marriage

This video helps me to see how much one (or I) should work relentlessly to save one's (or mine own) marriage.